I have been called the Mistress of Reinvention, a Maven of Transformation, and the Queen of Change to mention just a few of the identities that defined and shaped my life.
Part of my evolution and development has been candidly shared in the book “Who Am I Now? – Feminine Wisdom, Unmasked, Uncensored”.
The story reveals how I became aware of my own identity crisis and the realization that change not only was a constant but, in fact, it was a catalyst for an extraordinary life.
Recently, I was asked to explain how I appear to embrace change so courageously and how I navigate the transformation process.
If you have peered into my life through the book, or you know me personally, you know I have experienced more changes than most and not all changes were my choice.
It will also be evident I have pursued change and faced change with optimism, even during the times I was terrified and completely uncertain what was around the next corner.
The ultimate catalyst to embrace...
At age sixty, I felt as if I stepped across a threshold into an entirely new world of my own creation.
I was energized by an infusion of possibilities and opportunities after my bout with Identity Crisis Syndrome in my late fifties.
I still had not fully answered the question “Who Am I Now?” but I was starting to figure it out.
There is something incredibly significant about turning sixty.
The number sixty is a measure of time and progress. There are 60 seconds in each minute and 60 minutes in each hour. We identify with fast cars that go from ‘zero to 60’ in a boasted time.
When I was young and impatient to grow older and more independent, time seemed to move excruciatingly slow.
As I evolved through my twenties, thirties, and forties, I was always trying to stretch time to pack in more ‘doing’. I was always “on the clock” trying to accomplish some goal or milestone.
In my fifties, I started to realize that ‘being’ was...
50 is Nifty – maybe - but that's not how I would describe my fifth decade.
I celebrated my 50th birthday in 2004.
The vibe was different then. We were riding high on the wave of a new millennium. We survived Y2K!
I threw a spectacularly fun New Year’s Eve party on December 31, 1999, my home bulging with friends, as we tipsily awaited the turn of midnight to see if our technology-based world would short circuit!
You know what happened, of course. All the hype about universal computer melt down deflated like my party balloons the next morning.
Enter the 2000s and we seemed to be on an energetic high! It felt like most of the world was making and spending money, more than ever before.
My company was growing at a rapid pace and I was running to keep up as its leader.
My 5th decade was witness to one more divorce and another marriage. Joyfully, this decade also allowed me to blend three families and extend the privilege of my matriarchal domain over multiple...
I've been feeling restless and indecisive lately. My current state of mind resembles the general condition of 2020 to date.
There has been so much uncertainty and unrest in the world, and I am feeling the same way mentally.
I understand what is happening to me. This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced this condition. It happens every time I need to change and grow again.
I know that I am ready for new challenges and new experiences in my life but I’m still hesitating a little – not 100% sure of what is the first right step to take.
I am fortunate to have so many opportunities.
And I am overwhelmed because I have so many possibilities.
I am impatient and scared at the same time.
I authored a book last year and shared my story of how I have reinvented and transformed so many times in my life.
And here I am again wondering “Who Am I Now?”
I know that I am on the verge of another transformation.
I am a Woman Under Construction.
And that is...
I woke from a frightening dream about being marooned in deep fog.
The sensations of deprivation, loneliness, and disorientation were disconcertingly familiar and more nightmarish than dream-like.
This night terror rekindled memories of difficult periods of my identity crisis, and the struggle to answer; ‘Who Am I Now?’
Fatigued from chasing the elusive “Next Me”, while much in my life was changing, the challenge of reinventing again made me want to pull the covers over my head.
To the world outside of my gloom, it appeared that everything in my life was easy-breezy, bright and sunny. I pretended I had it all under control. Most of the time my family and friends were fooled. Sometimes, I fooled myself for a while.
Behind the veil, everything was grey and...
I've been called the Mistress of Transformation & Reinvention. I embrace that title as empowering but also a responsibility.
A woman’s life is fertile with opportunities to change, grow and reinvent!
My own journey has been filled with many tours, detours and ‘Oh My Goddess! I did not see THAT coming!’ experiences.
Full disclosure: Not all my life’s adventures and opportunities started as my idea. In fact, some of my roles happened to me or were forced upon me, and sometimes, I resisted and struggled with the change.
You might think that my story has almost come to an end at age 65, traditionally the age that our generation was expected to retire or begin our descent into obsolescence . . . Vroom Vroom!
I celebrated my ‘un-retirement’ by publishing a book...
Leonardo DiCaprio and I have a lot in common
The 2002 movie, “Catch Me If You Can”, starred a young Leonardo DiCaprio, playing the part of Frank Abagnale Jr.
This award-winning film directed by Steven Spielberg, was inspired by the true story of a young man who successfully posed as a teacher, a doctor, an airline pilot and a lawyer. He so convincingly assumed each role that few questioned his authority to hold these positions.
In each identity, he leveraged his love of learning, powers of observation and personal confidence to adapt and function as different people.
My interpretation of the story is that Leonardo, aka Frank, succeeds in each impersonation because he immersed fully into each persona, believing he was that identity and didn’t need to act. He became that individual and stayed in character until there was a reason to transform.
This is why I think Leonardo, or at least his...
For those who don’t know me, I can share that I took a chance on love again in my mid-fifties.
I surprised many (including myself) when I accepted a proposal ‘to start the journey to the rest of our lives together’ from a man who concealed a romantic heart behind a gruff persona and an intense career. I, too was intensely focused on my career, enjoying the single, entrepreneurial lifestyle with lots of long hours, travel and spontaneous self-indulgence. My home was a haven to recharge from my self-inflicted stressful life and to spend precious time with my family and friends.
I was so busy ‘being busy’ that I didn’t notice that anything was missing in my life. I thought I had it all and perhaps suffered from the “legend in my own mind” syndrome. I’d been practicing for this fiercely independent role since I left home at the age of sixteen.
Yes, I had married before and had significant relationships but I thought I was...
Are you nearing retirement and considered what the future holds for you?
Do you feel stifled or trapped in a career that ceased to fulfill you long ago?
Are you disappointed with the status quo but confused by what to do about it?
A new beginning with a career change, starting a business or a new social project is a good way to re-ignite your passion for life. Imagine how you would feel doing something that you’ve longed to do for years!
Money, although a factor, shouldn’t be the first consideration when it comes to making a change. The important thing when you decide to start a new or a second, or third, or fourth career, is to do something that you feel passionate about.
People often think it is difficult to start over again and begin in a new role. In truth, yes, it is difficult.
But here is the key to success; get started and start with something you love!
When you figure out what your...
It’s almost Halloween!
I love the sound of laughter and excited squeals from children as they transform into favorite characters, ghosts, goblins and witches in pursuit of the biggest haul of candy and treats!
I’ve always loved the idea of ‘dress up’ and to use my imagination to explore other personas. In disguise, we can let loose and pretend to be someone else for a little while. And when the fun and games are over, we take off our costume and return to being the real ‘us’. But, perhaps not always!
The Phantom of the Opera isn’t the only one hiding out!
I’ve observed that many of us are ‘in disguise’ much of our lives. Well beyond the social occasions to wear a mask and act like someone else, we often perform in relationships and careers like zombies or actors playing parts.
We’ve convinced ourselves that we...